You write with an uncommon elegance. I think the poem ends somewhat abruptly, though. Of course, it could be that I'm missing something too...

Another great one. This is more subtle, but I love the whispering seduction of the poem, with a voice that is understated but supremely bold and confident. That the clincher of the speaker's wooing is "I am not so human" is hiliarious and enticing at the same time. The relationship to "aquifer" is obvious, but this poem is, I think, more assured of itself and more brazen, which = more goodness.

Two little things. First, the speaker's "pitch" thrives on differentiation and experience instead of classic beauty. In that vein, "painted pink in your tuliped night" doesn't really work for me because some tulips are pink, so this doesn't really mean much, and in terms of color symbolism pink is a color of naivete and inexperience. Second, "The grass is greener in the dew- / dropped night" doesn't work for me, because you've already invoked green in the first stanza, "grass is greener" is one of those phrases it would be hard to sell in any poem, and following with "dew-dropped night" requires that enjambed line break for rhythm and, thus, for a fairly useless line ("dropped night"). This poem is so tight otherwise, and ends so well, this just stands out to me as fairly weak.

I could read this over and over again for days. And, since I'm faving it, I probably will. You're beating the shit out of this contest, and you're making the rest of us look bad.

You don't have to stop, mind you. I was just making sure you knew.


--
"It's like the first time you tasted celery, you are speechless, even humiliated."

-Aki Riihilahti

i think that this poem has a nice sound.
it got a strange rythm, but i'm not good at poetry (nor at english..) so i'm probably missing lot of this poem.
nice to see that my work is inspiring for someone

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Buh.

i love your last night - not that human - so eloquently perfect for your style and messages....

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**art requires an open mind**

i have to agree with ~sumants you write with such elegant style, nice presentation of natural imagery, and the flow was rather soft and organic too, a nicely structured piece

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htiaf fo lasrever eht

A lovely flowing dancing piece which seems to beckon and point the way. Supremely enjoyable.

--
Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
~ Samuel Beckett ~

course you're not human; you wouldn't write this stuff if you were.

I've decided not to think too much and act on impulse. Thus a to you.

--
***
For all poets: [link]

oh my god that is beautiful... much to be amazed you have awesome writting skills! i hope you win!

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"if wishes were grapes, i would stomp on your wishes. then after some fermentaion i would drink your wishes, and possibly throw them back up!" ~a hallmark card