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©2003-2010 ~echo-si
:iconecho-si:

Artist's Comments

THIS IS NOT MY IMAGE
If you like it please go compliment the artist, ~akhrod
The image can be found at [link]
It was one of the first images in this contest that really struck me, and it's a beautiful piece of artwork.

This submission is, obviously, for the writing portion. This poem has had a good deal of editing, but I could always use some more critique!

Thanks ^_^

~~~~

Cling to me firefly.
I was painted pink in your tuliped night,
slept on sturdy stalks
of pillowed green
while the sky swirled rain and cloudy sunset.

I was never a buttercup
glinting off some childish chin.
but firefly, I soared on pollen swept breezes
and flickered in the phosphorescent night.

Cling to me firefly.
The grass is greener in the dew-
dropped night,
and I am not so human.

~~~

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconboyle:
Wow what a beautiful picture! i like the colours veryyyyy much!!!!
Well Done!!! *fav*

--
I am a Fish.
:iconcaitiecometrue:
brilliant, like a sunset... delicate sherbert shades that will remain painted on my mind for the rest of the day.
i love the way you have with words

--
--and we will become a happy ending--
:icondr-d:
Incredible, and it and the picture compliment each other so well. Perfectly, in fact.

Bravo.


--
"... shuffle forward, eyes downcast
hands outstretched to receive your life ..."
:iconjaggy:
"Cling to me firefly." I love that line. That should be song. It just makes the firefly seem so vulnerable and the author of the poem is taking care of her.

I don't know what else to say, that line just knocked me down :) (Smile) You're such a quality writer.

--
Guess my life is a compromise.
:iconamyfae:
I think this is beautiful, and it makes me glad that I am going to camp tonight.

~amileeFae~*~
:iconldemosthenes:
very different from what I saw in the forums. I like the changes. The second stanza really surprised me, and while I still don't thing I understand it entirely, it's gorgeous.

maybe at some point you could give the rest of us a little manual on how to write like you :D (Big Grin)

--
here lies one whose name was writ in water
:iconsomethingsare:
This is so pretty..

Speaking of fireflies... we called them lightening bugs when I was a child, well I'm still a child, so when I was younger. :) (Smile) We'd go out at night with our jars and catch them. They were everywhere. I always let them go..... well almost always. Now, you hardly ever see them, on those soft summer nights. I called Oklahoma University one time and spoke to a professor who had written an article about fireflies. I was hoping to learn how to create a...um... habitat or a breeding area like you do for butterflies, bats, etc. But I guess no one really knows how to do that.

Well, I got off the subject. I love this piece and the screenshot too. I will go pay my respects to the artist.

:icongroovus:
I can clearly see the connection with aquifier. I understand that you separated them because of the different pieces of the overall picture. The search for light (truth) is a universal motion in your book ... and I like to see more works like these. I simply love the style and the thought patterns you line up. In the connection with aquifier I think the former is the stronger piece. Why because it is more open to interpretation. Whenever I use a statements, like you did in the last line, I always try to find something or somehow to oppose, nullify or mystify. Not that it has to be mentioned, yet I think that whenever the light (or truth) is sought after the motive of doubt (confusion) should have some interaction with it. Especially since clinging is an attachment of faith in a sense, whereas faith and truth are two different words ... just pointing out where this hints me to.

On the same count I can clearly see what you've done to capture the picture that accompanies this piece. Great twist on seeing what is not directly seen in that respect.

--
:bulletblue::bulletblue: Suture membrane or tissue issuer :bulletblue::bulletblue:

I'm jus' here and now
:iconviolentfem:
oh my god that is beautiful... much to be amazed you have awesome writting skills! i hope you win!

--
"if wishes were grapes, i would stomp on your wishes. then after some fermentaion i would drink your wishes, and possibly throw them back up!" ~a hallmark card
:iconfallingsilver:
I've decided not to think too much and act on impulse. Thus a +fav to you.

--
***
For all poets: [link]

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May 31, 2003
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